Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Has anyone ever told you..........?

For whatever reason my passion for sports is in a lull right now. The NBA season is over (this NBA Finals isn't happening, I will not acknowledge its presence nor recognize the champion, I will be in Hart Plaza a week from now, sitting in a folding chair, waiting for Ben Wallace to drive, no this is to painful to write, but you get the idea), the U.S. World Cup team may be the most overhyped bust since "Join Bode", and Todd Jones not only ruined my day but was crushing my very soul, with a string of appearances that left his ERA north of 7.00. The bleakest moment came a week and a half ago when I went to the Tigers-Red Sox game and saw Rogers and Schilling pitch like they did when they were youngsters back in the 1940's. Everything was going smoothly until two outs in the ninth, two strikes on Youkilis, I'm standing and cheering and, Crack. Home Run. Red Sox lead 3-2, the energy is sucked out of Comerica, I crash in my seat next to a 500 pound man who somehow managed to sneak a handful of cheese danishes into the game, and was losing his battle with his stink organ, and the literally TWO SECONDS later my phone rings with my sister telling me the Pistons were down twenty in the third quarter...and I didnt care..........well I did a little but the point was those events which transpired over a mere 30 seconds were so emotionally wrenching, that I couldnt muster the energy to care passionately about sports for awhile. I also started working an internship and stupidly neglected updating this site, (I couldnt even muster the energy to make a Dmitri Young/Little Caesar' Hot & Ready addiction joke (is it too late to say it now? It is? ok moving on) which is one of the few things I really enjoy doing.

Well now that Ive spent a paragraph to essentially say "I'm lazy!" I'm going to write about something that doesnt necessarily pertain to sports, but thats always fascinated me. I need to explain. The other day I'm sitting at the Wendy's drive-thru when the black guy who works the deep fryer (I think it was
Chris Cash) glances at me and it seems as though he recognizes me. I quickly try to think of where he might know me from. Do I owe him drug money? Does he owe ME drug money? No that doesnt make sense I dont do drugs. Now he's walking over, leans out the window and says "Has anyone ever told you, you look like Steve Nash." I respond, "Amazingly yes, even though I dont see it". Of course, his question and my answer draw the attention of the other workers who troll by and say things like "what are you doing up here", and "how's Amare's knee?", all while laughing. I dont mind, in fact I kind of enjoy it, because for whatever reason I've always been curious to see how I look to others. So heres a list of people who are said to look like me by more than one person along with its advantages/disadvantages. For reference, my law school photo is posted a few posts down and I'm not Ricky Williams.

1: Steve Nash: This started when I was at Michigan State and my roommate and I would go to the IM building to play basketball. I had long hair at the time and every time I would show up all the black guys would start laughing and say "looks like we got Nash here tonight." This continued through the Gus Macker tournament last year and now it dogs me at Wendy's. Of course the comparisons stopped when the opposing team realized I was more Travis Knight than Steve Nash, and could barely dribble with my left hand.

Advantages: Having Geri Halliwell show up at my Gus Macker games. Two MVP trophies. Close friendship with German(s).

Disadvantages: Chest Hair.

2. Bob Denver: I've heard this twice in my life and both times in the same week. First by a homeless man selling candles door to door in Lansing, I laughed it off as another hysterical case of alcohol dementia. And then two days later my impish history professor told me this after class, creeping me out enough to keep me from coming back.

Advantages: Hanging out with Dobey Gillis

Disadvantages: random hat beatings from obese captains.

3: Keith Moon: I hear this mainly from my dads crusty old 70's rock friends, and random 50 year old alcoholic guys who wear bandanas.

Advantages: Kickass drumming, Groupies, Drugs, Rock & Roll, and all that.
Disadvantage: Inability to swim.

4: Tyson Ritter: He's the lead singer of All-American Rejects, I had to look up his name, all I know about him is that I supposedly bear a resemblance to him in the "Move Along" video.

Advantages: Picking up 7th grade girls at the Hot Topic located in Genesee Valley Mall

Disadvantages: Being shown on Dateline trying to pick up 7th graders at the mall, making crap rock music that plagues Madden games.

5: Cedric the Entertainer: Seriously is anyone still reading this?

5: Josh Groban: I hear this from mom's who want their daughters to date nice, sensitive, caring Josh Groban types, only they dont know they are dealing with an acerbic, desperate, socially inept Andrew type. Oh yeah and my Uncle Rex said this. Thats right. Rex.

Advantages: None.

Disadvantages: Looking like Josh Groban.

6: Jeff Samardzija: I got this after running for my life outside of Michigan Stadium after Samardzija made the game winning touchdown grab. There was a photo in ESPN the Magazine a few months ago where I could actually see the resemblance, mostly in our gargantuan angular noses, albeit I look like a Samardzija with no muscle, no hands, and no fastball.

Advantages: Lining up the Catholic girls and owning South Bend alongside Brady Quinn next year.

Disadvantages: Having to go to Nortre Dame, Red Haired/Irish Catholic girls, Having to look at Charlie Weiss in shorts.


Fat Albert said...

you are nash

Ian C. said...

But have you played the lookalikes into any groupie tail, Beefshower? Or does it just result in taking WAY too long to get your Single w/ Cheese?