Sunday, May 21, 2006


Today I was fortunate enough to witness history unfold before my very eyes. In what will surely go down as one of the greatest days in the history of Detroit sports, I was in attendance with my family to watch Todd Jones pass Mike Henneman on the Tigers all-time saves list. With ESPN interrupting their programming to air this momentous occasion live, the stadium anxiously watched as Edwin Encarnacion stood only 90 feet from home with the imposing Javier Valenitin pinch hitting, striding to the plate with a chance to chance to alter the game with one swing of the bat, and make Jones pursuit of the hallowed record wait another day. The Game Seven of the Pistons-Cavs series, which in itself had a chance to define the Pistons legacy, cut short a phenomenal season, dash expectations and single handedly ruin my summer and plans to attend Hart Plaza in late June was a distant thought in the minds of the Tigers faithful. Oh hell forget it, I can't keep it up anymore, 90 percent of the crowd was watching the clock on the scoreboard hoping to get the hell out of Comerica before the Pistons tipped off at 3:30. This is not to take anything away from the Tigers game this afternoon, (it was a beautiful day and I had a blast), but there were clearly more pressing matters to attend to. Luckily Jones accommodated us, and got Valentin to harmlessly fly out.

After a close first half, the Pistons stifled the Cavs completely in the second half and the game was essentially over after the Pistons closed the third quarter on a run that stretched the lead to double digits and the Cavs never really threatened again. With the series closed out I'm going to go back to my favorite gimmick........Handing out grades for the series!

Ben Wallace: B-: His offense and free throw shooting was atrocious this series, even by his standards, capped by his 0-7 from the line in a must win game five. 0-7. Really? Severely retarded monkeys, like the one pictured to the right, could shoot 0-7 from the line. However as bad as Ben was offensively in this series, he still did the little things that help the Pistons win. He grabbed boards, kept loose balls alive, took charges, altered shots, and intimidated Zydrunas into becoming 7'3" jump shooting bitch in Game 4.

Rasheed Wallace: C+: I know he battled through an injury, but even at 10 percent Rasheed should still be capable of outplaying Rembrandt from "The Warriors". However, when he remembered who was trying to guard him he took him to the rim with ease.

Rasheed Wallace's humor: A++++++: Where do you begin, Another guaranteed victory, "Sunshine on a dog's ass", "Bananas yo", and the impeccable work from the always entertaining, namely Zydrunas and LeBron's future jobs.

Tayshaun Prince: A: I believe Tayshaun was the MVP of this series as he was the only consistent performer throughout the whole seven game series, and averaged 18 ppg along with solid rebounding and defense.

Rip: B: Hamilton seemed to struggle with his shot some this series, but even when it wasnt falling he did a good job of being aggressive and getting to the line, as exemplified by his 18 free throw attempts in Game 2. As the series went on it seems like he wasnt running as much and the offense grew a little stagnant, although that wasnt entirely his fault.

Chauncey: B-: Chauncey was uncharacteristically sloppy at times in this series, throwing lazy entry passes that were getting swiped from behind. It also seems as though he wasnt nearly as aggressive as he could have been, especially when little Damon Jones was guarding him. If Chauncey had really attacked he could have fouled Damon Jones' out in ten minutes. But it seemed as though he was content running pick and rolls, or dribbling for 16 seconds and hoisting a three.

Bench: A-: McDyess single handedly kept the Pistons in Game 5 with his fourth quarter scoring, and Lindsey Hunter provided his usual energy and defensive presence off the bench, even though the referees wouldnt let him get with 6 inches of LeBron, or even let LeBron push him to the ground without getting a foul.

Cleveland Cavs Beards: F-: LeBrons' neck beard was reprehensible and made me grow a strong disliking for him, along with his ridiculous scowl/whiny face. And whatever the hell that growth was on Zydrunas' face was frightening, the only thing I can think to compare it to, is those old Wooly Willy toys, its as if someone took all of the magnetic shavings from the top of his head and slid them down onto his chin, you can barely make him out in the top left corner of this photo.

Oh yeah Pistons beat the Heat in six.......Goodnight.

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