Another Productive Day at the Office

This summer I'm working an internship at my Dad's law office in the wonderful turd-tropolis that is Clio. So far today, I've done some typing, checked e-mail about 5,674 times, (that sounds like a good idea, I think I'll check it again..............Hey 30% off at J. Crew, that was exciting.), Discreetly refreshed the box score to the Pirates/D-Backs game because I had Freddy Sanchez playing a spot start and he was up with the bases loaded (he struck out), ate a handful of Tootsie Rolls, closed the door to my office and talked to my friend TJ on the cell phone, and feigned looking productive when my Dad or his secretary Mary walked by. Anyways, I thought I would close out this hectic rat race of a Monday by killing 30 minutes or so wrapping up the Tigers beat down of the Cubs over the weekend. I remember doing some series wrap-ups pre-Final Exams meltdown, and enjoyed doing them and with the Tigers continuing to play well I think its time to re-start the wrap-ups.

This was a good weekend for the Tigers as they continued their nearly century long dominance over the hapless Cubs. (But then again what team hasnt dominated the Cubs over the last century?) No doubt inspired to avenge the beating administered by Tinkers/Evers/Chance, and Mordecai "Three Finger" Brown on precocious Ty Cobb and the rest of the 1908 Tigers, this years squad completed a sweep in decisive fashion. (Why don't people name their kids like they did in the late 1800's, there is a shortage of Rube's, Heinie's, Mordecai's, and Ira's, or were the people with these names more likely to contract TB, typhoid, and smallpox? I need to know this.) I missed Fridays game because the 2:20 start time did not fit well into my work schedule, but I was able to follow the action live thanks to the tiny yellow dots on Yahoo! gamecast it was almost like I was actually there, (if the game were being played using an Atari 2600). Curtis Granderson, who is quickly becoming my favorite Tiger, thanks in part to his involvement in my two favorite teams, the Tigers and my fantasy team Team bearface, set the tone early, in what would become a theme for him in this series. Nate Robertson was solid again, and I rushed home just in time to see beleaguered closer Todd Jones come strolling in to try to finish off the game. When i saw this my heart sank immediately as I was really hoping to see Rodney take over the role. Jones has been called the "Rollercoaster" by other sites, but I disagree with this nickname. Rollercoasters tend to have peaks and valleys, unless they really suck like say...........the Iron Dragon, however Todd Jones is mainly going from a high point (having the lead) and then plummeting into the depths of hell (see: Tigers v. D-Rays), so if I had to compare him to a rollercoaster it would be the Demon Drop, which I think is a more appropriate name.........but I digress. Regardless Jones closed without incident and the Tigers won but I still dont trust him.

The second game wasnt televised in Clio because we don't get Channel 20, but from what I could glean from half ass reading the Detroit News was that Verlander wasnt particularly sharp, but didnt get hit hard, the Cubs might have got screwed on a foul ball call by the seemingly impossible to get out Henry Blanco, and the Tigers scored a lot late to really put the game out of reach. Hows that for an in-depth re-cap.

Sundays game was intriguing due to the fact that Mark Prior was making his season debut and Kenny Rogers was going for his 200th win. The Tigers greeted Mark Prior and his very hittable fastball by beating his brains in for 3 2/3 innings. Granderson led off the game with a homerun, the first time he's done that in his career moving him to within 80 of Ricky Henderson on the all-time homerun list. (Ricky Henderson says, "Ricky Henderson isnt worried about Kevin Anderson catching him."). It got so bad for Prior that even Vance Wilson hit a bomb off of him. The ghost of Chris Shelton's April returned to hit two homeruns, and Brandon Deer errr I mean Rob Inge continued his torrid homerun pace while sporting a batting average that would make Steve Balboni blush. Anyways this Tigers beatdown was overshadowed by the generic sappy storyline of Kenny Rogers 200th victory on Father's Day in the Friendly Con......blah blah blah, as all the sportswriters channeled their inner Mitch Albom and pretended to believe that their own fathers didnt think of them as bitter disappointments. (Its Monday I have a right to be caustic.)