Monday, January 30, 2006

Pistons Mid-Season Report card

The Pistons just played their 42nd game tonight which just puts them past the halway mark on their season. Currently their record stands at 37-5, which is an incredible .881 winning percentage. But more important then their blistering start is the fact that it's time for my favorite gimmick article in the history of sportswriting. That's right, its time to grade the Pistons, starting today with the reserves. I must note that because of their record (37-5!!!) almost all of these guys will be getting A's, which kind of sucks the fun out of writing this, but we'll see how it goes.

Alex Acker: I know nothing about Alex Acker, he has yet to appear in a game this season for Detroit so I can't talk about his game. At least he gets to look forward to playing with the
Fayetteville Patriots in about two weeks, where I'm sure he will replace former Piston great Mateen Cleaves who was just recalled by the Sonics because they needed an emergency towel waver. So instead of wearing a borrowed suit at the end of the Pistons bench Alex will now get to play in front of dozens of people against teams with names like Roanoke Dazzle. Yikes.
Grade: I

Dale Davis: He's appeared in nine games so far and has yet to score a basket for the Pistons. However I did run into D squared ( I cant believe I just typed that) at the Coach store in Somerset around Christmas time. He seemed absolutely frightened that I recognized him and proceeded to buy over $5000 worth of women's purses. I think he'll do an excellent job of replacing what the Big Easy gave us.....whatever that was.......oh right 6 fouls...... come playoff time.
Grade: A. He seemed like a nice guy

Amir Johnson: I just wrote about this guy a couple of days ago and the good folks at linked to my blog, a move that single handedly spiked my readership from about 4 to nearly a thousand, if only for a day. For this I'm eternally grateful to Amir.
Grade: A

Lindsey Hunter: Has been injured all year, but did provide ok color commentary for one half of a Pistons game this season, also his favorite movie is New Jack City.......wait I mean Office Space. What?!?
Grade: I

Jason Maxiell: He's appeared in 16 games and has been a pretty exciting player in the limited action he's seen. I love how aggresive he is, as he's always trying to throw it down on someone or sprinting towards the basket looking for an alley oop. It's also amazing how such a fat guy can have such crazy hops. He's like the anti-
Tractor Traylor. Speaking of Tractor I remember going to a game a few years ago with my room mate and his girlfriend who wasnt a really big basketball fan. She was enjoying her self until the Tractor came in and was, how should I say this, laboring up and down the court, when she said "Awww, who's that fat man he's making me feel sad." So I guess my point, if I even have one, is nothing take a crowd out of a game like the Tractor.
Grade: A

Carlos Arroyo: My old room mate could never say his name and always ended up saying something to the effect of Carlos Errorrrorroorro, which was always good comedy. I also like the fact that he's a stereotypical hot blooded Latino, (headbutting a ref, wanting to fight Dirk) like if he played on the playground he'd look like
this. Oh wait that is him. He also has the most ridiculous backup point guard site on the web at, with over 57 wallpapers. For this I give him my first...........
Grade: B

Carlos Delfino: I love Delfino and think he will be a great player someday in the same mold as Manu Ginobilli. He plays with a ton of energy and does all the little things like diving for loose balls and tons of other scrappy stuff. What I don't like is how he looks like
Gael Garcia Bernal from the Motorcycle Diaries in drag.
Grade: A

Darko Milicic: Before the season my friends and I argued about his stats for the season, which ranged from the low of more personal fouls than points (my guess) to 15 minutes 6 points and four boards a game. It goes without saying that the friend who guessed the latter was heavily involved in drugs.
Grade: F-

Antonio McDyess: He got off to a slow start but has turned it on as of late, even though his numbers are still down quite a bit across the board from last season. It's nice to know that we have a big man coming off of our bench who could probably start for half of the teams in the league. He's so solid in fact that I have nothing to add....that and Im starting to get really freakin' tired.
Grade B+

Maurice Evans: I like Mo Evans because I don't think Ive ever seen him miss a shot. Honestly I can't remember watching a game where he missed, but yet it says on his player page that his shooting percentage is below 50%. Hmmm, anyways Mo is a definite improvement over both Darvin Ham and Ronald Dupree the two guys he essentially replaced. Speaking of which does anyone know what happened to Darvin Ham, did he roll out of bed and fall off the face of the Earth. Did he get left behind in Africa after his tour with the NBA cares program and no one has noticed?......or cared?
Grade: A.

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