Thursday, January 19, 2006

Welcome to the Graveyard, Rod Marinelli

Today the Lions introduced their newest head coach and it is....... some guy named Rod Marinelli. Who? I had never even heard of this guy until about two days ago, and now he is the head coach of the worst franchise in the NFL. I was actually getting excited about the possibility of the Russ Grimm era because if there is one thing that guarantees the success of a football coach its being fat. I mean look at Andy Reid, Mike Holmgren, Charlie Weiss, Romeo Crennell, who I think will be pretty good regardless of the Browns record this season, and that insanely obese coach for the University of Kansas you know this guy.

But now we have Marinelli, a guy who has never been a head coach or coordinator at any level, but is now responsible for an entire football team. Great. By this logic I'm assuming I'm qualified to run for president and lead the nation based on the fact that I was elected to student council and served the most tumultuous two week tenure in student council history. This is a true story, I woke up for the first meeting which was held before school realized it was still dark outside and about 6 A.M. and said forget that (I didnt swear in fifth grade now I'd say "fuck that fucking bullshit, bitches"). This didnt fly over to well with the constituency and I was replaced by Tracy Roby in a Washington D.C.-style power grab. Now Im in law school and shes got like 4 kids and works at a gas, i guess i won the war, but i digress.

Where was I? Oh yeah I dont know if Marinelli is the answer or another mistake, but given Millen's track record Im expecting the worst, but at least there is always the draft, where I'm expecting to hear,

"With the ninth pick of the 2006 NFL draft the Detroit Lions select Santonio Holmes, Wide Receiver, Ohio State." And it would be the last thing I ever hear because it would lead to a massive rib breaking heart attack.

Moving on to a much better topic the Pistons are just killing The Knicks tonight and I'm loving every second of it. Right before the half the Pistons poured in three three pointers, and were getting all kinds of offensive boards, uncontested layups, and every time little Nate Robinson tried to take it the hole, the Wallace's just threw it back out. In other words this is just another typical Pistons beat down, much like what they did to Atlanta last night. In fact the most interesting thing tonight is Steve Kerr revealing that he lives in the same neighborhood as Jud Buechler, which led me to imagine that all the slow, white, three-point specialists live in the same gated community somewhere in Arizona. Where if you drove through the subdivision you would find Jon Sundvold planting flowers around his mailbox, Jim Les watering his lawn, Tim Legler and Mark Price jogging together down the street, and Craig Hodges on the outside of the gate looking in because of those damn neighborhood associations.

Well thats enough for today, Im going to finish watching the Pistons polish of the Knicks, who may be the most sloppy careless team that Ive seen in a while.

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