Thursday, June 09, 2005

Another Update

I told you that I can never think of any creative titles for my posts. It took me nearly 15 minutes to come up with this title. I could never work at a newspaper because I lack the ability to grab a readers attention, I would probably continuously submit articles headlined.......... Another Accident, or More Dead, but I digress. Anyways its been a while since I last posted and a lot has happened with the Tigers in the meantime, with the biggest news being todays trade between Detroit and the Phillies that sent Ugueth and Ramon Martinez to Philly for Placido Polanco. My initial reaction to the move was anger because over the last year and a half I had really grown to like Ugie...........or is it Oogey, can I get a definitive answer on this please. Anyways both teams traded their strengths to overcome weaknesses, so you cant fault either team there. However, I immediately called up my friends with the news of the Ugueth trade after seeing it during my 671st page refresh of the day, thereby justifying the time I spend online, especially on the espn webpage waiting for any news. Anyways the immediate reaction from my friends as well as myself was that none of us like Polanco, strictly because of his name. I know on previous reports I have harped on my dislike for the word blog, because I think it sounds vulgar, and for some reason I feel the same about Placido's name. I cant quite put my finger on why I dislike it but I think its because I associate his first name with the word flaccid a word which I in turn associate with a limp penis. However, I think everybody associates the word flaccid with that, I mean I dont think I ve ever heard it used in a different context, like for example, someone saying, "Check and see if the spaghetti is flaccid yet", it just sounds disturbing.........Oh well I think trading for Placido is a good move, just because Guillen is hurting, Infante blows, and I dont think Tony Graffanino, or I mean Giarrarrarrttarranrrno is ready to play and be effective everyday.

Also Chris Shelton is back with the Tigers after tearing up Triple A, which raises the question, has there ever been a more unlikely looking professional athlete as Chris Shelton, He looks as though he should be working in a sausage factory, or behind the counter of the local Dunkin' Donuts. The person he reminds me the most of is an overweight Robert Fick..........I think I may have just uncovered Sheltons secret, I think he was probably an unassuming minor leaguer in the Pittsburgh system, who had a chance encounter with Fick somewhere, ate him, absorbed his powers which he combined with his own natural ability, and skyrocketed through the minors as a result, much like Majinn Buu used to do on Dragonball Z. Mind you I never watched Dragonball Z willingly, its just I have a friend, who is 22, (I dont want anyone to think I am a chester), but has a mentality of a 12 year old. He was obsessed with the Dragonball show, and talked to me and my friends incessantly about it, and for some reason this completely useless info stuck around for years, taking up valuable space in my brain which could have been used for my learning German in college. Speaking of stolen identities Vance Wilson is horrific, I think it's Matt Walbeck in disguise, back for seconds with the Tigers, I think Walbecks been able to fool people by wearing those stupid angular sunglasses.

some quick thoughts about ESPN programming- I liked the idea of battle of the gridiron stars but the execution was horrible. I think the show would have been better had they ended each episode with a special event, such as who can snort the most lines of coke off of strippers bodies, or who can successfully mask their drug tests. Also how did they decide on having Harold Reynolds involved, he played baseball, I bet he either stowed away on the flight to Hawaii, or happened to be vacationing at the same resort where they filmed it. And Im sure that Sean Salisbury would have been falling over himself to be involved, however I believe the Mannings probably have a restraining order against him, since he slurps Peyton so much. Of course you know Merrill Hoge would have turned his nose down at the whole idea, of such a competition. Finally whos idea was it to release TILT on DVD, is anyone going to buy this? did anyone watch one episode of this? Now we are once again subjected to more commercials with Norman Chad explaining why they call Michael Madsen the Matador. I think I would rather be skinned alive than watch the whole season of TILT, and yes ESPN the DVD would make a great Fathers Day gift, but only if you really hated the man, then it would be great to get it in spite of him.

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