Friday, May 27, 2005


I have been a bad Tigers fan this season........there I admitted it. I ve only been to one game at Comerica and have not been able to watch every game on television this season. I don't have an explanation for why I haven't been watching, its not like I have work/girlfriends/distractions that prevent me from watching........I just don't. I think its a part of getting older, or just the feeling that I should be doing more important things, like its no longer acceptable to devote five nights a week to sitting alone in my house and watching a three hour long baseball game. But enough about that I have watched a fair amount of games, and the reliable and always scary Danny Knobler has kept me informed of the happenings within the organization and locker room. So with this information in hand I will now give a quarterly report on the entire Tigers roster, a task whose scope is so large that I will find it necessary to sleep until at least 4 oclock tomorrow afternoon just to recover, well actually I am sure I would be sleeping in tomorrow regardless but at least I now have a legitimate excuse, well at least its legitimate for me........

Jeremy Bonderman: I cant believe I almost got this prediction right, I thought I was being ridiculously optimistic in my predictions for his season but so far so good, and now if I've completely jinxed him you can put 100 percent of the blame on me. I haven't really been able to see him pitch much this season, but when I have hes been electric. He still reminds me of a bird or a fat toad, nevermind I cant say fat toad because that nickname already belongs to the immortal Hideki Irabu. I was concerned as I think nearly every Tigers fan was, when Bonderman missed that one start with dead arm. Luckily it was just a passing thing.........I think. Speaking of dead arms the Carlos Zambrano injury that he got from typing online too much must be one of the most absurd injuries in awhile. I can relate to Carlos because I myself have experienced dead arm from spending too much time online, however for an entirely different reason, usually on weekday nights when my room mate in college was staying at his girlfriends apartment. Also I believe I am close enough to Carlos that I can refer to him on a first name basis, this is based solely on the fact that he has been on my fantasy baseball team each year that he has been in the major leagues.

Mike Maroth: I also have gotten this one right so far. I thought Maroth would end up with about a .500 record and an ERA in the mid 4's based solely on the fact that its Mike Maroth and this is what he does every year. Im not really sure if I've seen him pitch more than a couple of innings this year but Im assuming its still the same bland soft tossing lefty stuff hes been doing for over three years. Mike Maroth is my candidate for the potential Willie Blair/Kent Bottenfield season, a season in which none of Maroths stats are any better except for his won-loss record, a season in which he'll get insane run support in his starts, which will in turn result in a season where he goes 18-8. I only remember Bottenfield because I may be the only person to have drafted him in fantasy sports the following season. I always have a penchant for making ridiculous sleeper picks, because my arrogance about my baseball knowledge leads me to believe I can win the title with a lineup that contains nearly no household names. In an unrelated story I have never won my fantasy baseball league, and Bottenfield sucked with the Angels.........of course.

Nate Robertson: Robertson worries me in the fact that he now throws as hard as Maroth, but with no control. Robertson sports an ERA of 2.96 which is misleading because ten of his runs are unearned including five in one game against the Angels. However that Angels game was the one game I attended and let me tell you he was pitching like feces. However it did not help that the Tigers, inexplicably, could not turn a double play to save their lives in that game which resulted in all the unearned runs, but Robertson was still throwing BP fastballs and everything the Los Angeles of Anaheim of Orange County of the Great Golden State of California of the United States Of America hit was hit hard. However I do like Robertson because he wears goggles and I think that if I were a professional athlete I would also wear goggles even though I wear contacts in every day life. I would especially wear them if I played football, I always though Eric Dickerson looked badass in goggles, however Horace Grant was an asshole so I may have to rethink my position on this very important matter. Also I have no evidence that Horace Grant was an asshole but he seemed like he would be.

Jason Johnson: Johnson started off kind of slow, well actually he threw a shutout in his first start but it was against the Royals so that really shouldnt count, but he was also getting rocked in spring training and after his nightmare game against the Twins I was ready to designate him for assignment, but this is why I am not a GM nor will I ever be one. Since that Twins start he has pitched good and has his ERA in the mid 3's or a full two runs lower than I thought it would be, but he has a tendency to tire as the season wears on so we'll see how he does from here on out.

Fredo Ledezma: Ugh, I expected big things from him and so far he is off to a pretty rough start. Im not ready to give up on him of course because its only a quarter of the way through the season and that would be absurd. However I did expect better than this, watching him against the Yankees the other night was rough, they were absolutely teeing off on him. Oh well he will still be solid in the future and will come back and get his revenge against the Yankees. Also I wonder if Wil is the most prominent person to ever attend Ciudad Jardin University. I need some one to research this, I would try but I don't know Spanish and thats what there whole website is in. Also if Wil was born in 1981 and has been playing professional baseball for at least five years how old was he when he first started going to University. Something doesnt seem to add up, I smell a potential Deivi Cruz situation where one day I ll wake up to find that Wil is actually 32, a revelation which will throw me off for an entire day, as I try to come to grips with the fact that I may have actually slept for 8 years a feat that is surely not a question of if it will happen but when.

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