Tourney Picks Day 2

I've been on spring break for nearly a week now and my schedule is already completely out of whack. It's 3:30 in the morning and it feels like the middle of the afternoon for me. I've become reacquainted with the magnificent World News Now on ABC, which hasnt been the same since Anderson Cooper Juju Chang era ended a couple of years ago, but the show is still excellent late night television (although there are moments I want to crawl through the screen and punch Ron Corning in the nose.) I also dusted off the original Atari for some late night Asteroids ( I was distressed to find that I had lost my copy of Custer's Revenge.......). And now with nothing else to do I'm going to run through my Day 2 picks for the 1st round of the tourney. Yesterday I went 12-4, which is about average, and correctly guesse one of the upsets, UW-Milwaukee over Oklahoma, so we'll see how todays games turn out.

(2) Ohio State over (15) Davidson: Being from Michigan its in my blood to hate Ohio State, I hate Jimmy Jackson, Michael Redd, Scoonie Penn, and I especially hate Lawrence Funderburke........fucker. Regardless of my hatred for the Buckeyes I think they will beat Davidson, which has a kickass logo and hopefully makes Columbus sweat a little bit tomorrow.

(3) Iowa over (14) Northwestern State: I have always had a soft spot for unathletic, goony, white, Big Ten forwards dating back to former Pistons great and 12 time Purdue letterman (seriously he played for the Boilermakers for at least a decade) Brian Cardinal. I think Greg Brunner has proven worthy of carrying on the legacy.........get back in your hole Graham Brown, you upset me.

(9) Bucknell over (8) Arkansas: I know nothing about Bucknell outside of the campus being located in Kansas and their nickname being the Bisons. Did this prevent me from wagering on this game. Of course not.........go Bisons!!!

(9) Wisconsin over (8) Arizona: I have no idea who will win this game as Arizona was inconsistent all season, and Wisconsin can't win a game away from home, so I'm going with my Wisconsin Corollary here, not to be confused with the Roosevelt Corollary, and if another Wisconsin team lets me down this theory will go to the wayside along with my "I think Larry Foster could be a solid NFL receiver." statement.

(7) Georgetown over (10) Northern Iowa: I like Northern Iowa because they have someone who shares my surname: Stout. However Grant Stout alone is not enough for me to pick the Panthers over the Hoyas, although I think this game will be tight.

(11) Southern Illinois over (6) West Virginia: I like the Salukis and how they shut down teams with their stifling defense. I also like Kevin Pittsnogle, but I cant get over the game he had against Pitt earlier this season when he went 0-everything and fouled out, I just get the feeling he'll struggle again tomorrow.

(16) Oral Roberts over (1) Memphis: Ha, I was just seeing if you were still paying attention......or even reading, but seriously I think Memphis will roll in this game and in case you don't know who Oral Roberts is all you need to know is that he's completely insane.

(1) Villanova over (16) Monmouth and (1) UConn over (16) Albany....moving on.

(6) Michigan State over (11) George Mason: George Mason is a university named after the alleged "Father of the Bill of Rights," but everyone knows he just ripped the idea off of Willam Eustis and claimed it as his own. I don't see how Mason has a chance against the oldest cow college in the country which doubles as the alma mater of World's Sexiest Sports Blogger (translation: least troll-like and not morbidly obese): Andrew Stout, unless Tony Skinn suits up and goes on a nut punching rampage. Note: I do hate Paul Davis and his bitch face he bought from Cliff Robinson.

I'm just going to quickly run through the rest:

(12) Kent State over (5) Pitt: I love the MAC.....and apparently hate the Big East

(10) N.C. State over (7) Cal

(4) Kansas over (13) Bradley: I have Kansas in my Final Four, I also have the feeling my bracket is about to get busted by Bradley. Kansas in a close one

(3) North Carolina over (14) Murray State

(2) Texas over (15) Penn

(9) UAB over (8) Kentucky: I can't go against a team with a guy named Squeaky Johnson, also the guy responsible for the Lazy Tuesday abomination found on Deadspin told me to go fuck myself. LEACH! LEACH! LEACH! I just hope Patrick Sparxxx takes it easy on his asshole after tomorrow night.